Boring does not even begin to describe this movie.
As if the world needed yet another Cinderella remake. I really had hopes for this one to be different, but it disappointed me just as much as the others had. I was excited to see Ella portrayed as a businesswoman, and having some passion other than swooning for handsome princes, but apparently, I was wrong. It was also nice to see that she was friendly with her step-sisters because there was no reason for them to not get along. Their allegiances kept changing though, and by the end, I was not sure who was good or who was bad or if everyone was good or if everyone was bad, with the last option seeming most likely, considering the greedy and selfish Ella.1. I was just not interested. Do you blame me? Our dear wonderful Prince Charming going on about his I-don't-fit-in-the-box or whatever complaints was possibly the dreariest part of this movie. We all already knew what he was about to say. If anybody was watching this movie, they have also watched this same scene a hundred times in a hundred different movies before (which were, again, not nearly as bad as this). And the stepmother talking about her piano-playing passion 😠(I was going to write *insert crying emoji* but apparently I can just do that). Nobody. Cared.
2. Sky-breaking cringe levels. The guy- Robin? Robert? Rowan? Whoever Prince Charming was supposed to be- had an uncanny ability to start singing at the most inappropriate times. His father, the King, is giving a speech to the public and what does the PC do? Burst into song! I mean, someone tell the poor fellow this is not the right time and place to showcase the majesty of your vocal cords. And with a drone like yours, this spectacle is better suited to the bathroom. Sing all you like when the shower is running, you- and now the whole kingdom- know you don't sound half as good without it.
At least Ella sang only when in private, or in the market where nobody cared. That didn't make it any less boring though. I shamelessly admit to having skipped through a lot of the songs. It was a musical indeed, but the songs didn't make much sense. They were randomly scattered throughout the movie to make it seem longer and to hide the fact that it lacked a plot. There was absolutely no need for Camila Cabello to twirl around the field singing a song as she ran, but it was passed off as being part of a musical.
The entire movie was like a strung-out music video. And I have nothing against music videos, but this movie was just not it. The songs weren't terrible, but after half the movie, they started repeating the same ones, and I had zero patience for that. The Million to One song had a good tune, but I had to listen to it too many times in that short amount of time.
Ella falling in love with the guy was just one song and one dance, and I know it's the same way in the fairy tale, but here it seemed faker somehow. The PC was infatuated with Ella ever since she sat on his grandfather's shoulder and grabbed his chin (it was a statue of him, I mean), but Ella only liked him because of his wealth and because he proposed after singing an oh-so-beautiful song. (No, don't tell me about how she liked him when he came dressed as a pirate because she didn't.)
3. wOrLd bUiLdInG. Their world was so poorly developed that I cannot even call it a world. It was just an old-fashioned town, whose rulers knew they were old-fashioned, yet they chose to remain old-fashioned, and about that, I have nothing to say. Was their village supposed to be situated in the modern world? I do not know. Probably not. But if it had been the normal Cinderella world, they wouldn't have considered themselves old-fashioned. I've said old-fashioned too many times already so on to the next paragraph.
4. Miscellaneous stupid things. Princess Gwen was really annoying. What made it worse was that she was the only decent character in the whole movie. Apart from the mice. The mice were great. They got the fact that humans are very loud. Anyway, Gwen had no purpose in life except to bring up random ideas at the most inappropriate times (brother and sister truly appear to share blood, don't they? Or maybe they just shared a tutor who never taught them manners). The King and Queen really got on my nerves as well. I skipped his serenade, but if it was supposed to be rOmAnTiC, I can't-
This was Gwen:
Also, am I the only one who thinks this dress is not good at all? Apart from the brooch, what else is there to it? Ella could've easily started her business if she'd begun by selling something else.
Oh wait, but she hadn't made any other dress.
She was a "tailor" with only one, trashy dress to her name.
And her "glass" slippers were really worn and ugly and plastic-y. I refuse to believe anyone would make an old pair of shoes with magic.
The stepmother and sisters weren't mean enough to be enjoyable, nor kind enough to be called caring. I thought they behaved decently enough towards Ella, but her whole I'm-an-oppressed-girl suggested she thought otherwise. They provided Cinderella with enough cloth, and let her do whatever she wanted in the basement. Admittedly, she was forced to cook and clean, but there were two long scenes of the step-sisters hanging clothes and only one in which Ella was doing any work.
While not entirely as bad as A Royal Christmas Failure, this definitely deserves a top spot in my most hated movies. Thank you for reading my review, and I shall leave you with this image to ponder why and how this movie was ever released-
No comments:
Post a Comment