Heartless by Marissa Meyer - Book Review (No spoilers)

"Long before she was the terror of Wonderland—the infamous Queen of Hearts—she was just a girl who wanted to fall in love.

Catherine may be one of the most desired girls in Wonderland, and a favorite of the unmarried King of Hearts, but her interests lie elsewhere. A talented baker, all she wants is to open a shop with her best friend. But according to her mother, such a goal is unthinkable for the young woman who could be the next queen.

Then Cath meets Jest, the handsome and mysterious court joker. For the first time, she feels the pull of true attraction. At the risk of offending the king and infuriating her parents, she and Jest enter into an intense, secret courtship. Cath is determined to define her own destiny and fall in love on her terms. But in a land thriving with magic, madness, and monsters, fate has other plans."

Have I been avoiding writing this review? Yes.
But has waiting made it any better? No.

If anything, it has made my thoughts about this book murkier and murkier, so I think today is finally the day that I write this review. I'm still going back and forth between 2 stars and 4, so make of this messy, conflicted review what you will.

This book had everything I enjoy in stories-
1. Fantasy
2. Forbidden love
3. Stand-alone
4. It was long
5. Palace backdrop

However, for me, this book didn't work out because of these very reasons.

1. It was supposed to be a fantasy- Alice in Wonderland had been written as a fairy tale, and all the characters in it appealed to children. But when this author gave personalities to them and made them fall in love with each other, it didn't make much sense. The age rating of Heartless is 12 to 17, but most of the characters and place names were really childish. For example, there was a "High Warthog, the Duke of Tuscany". Perhaps if I had come across this character in a fairy tale, I would have found it witty, but I could not appreciate it here. It also took me a few pages to realise that he was actually a warthog because I found a pig crushing on a human girl unfathomable.

2. The forbidden love... didn't feel forbidden?- I'll admit that this book has everything that one would expect from this troupe. The parents didn't agree to the match, there were instances of sneaking off in the night and smuggling in handwritten letters to the girl. But most of this happened when Cath and the Joker were just getting to know each other and had barely acknowledged it as love. Cath spent most of her day with Jest, and barely any time with the King. I would have liked to see some more angst and daydreaming, or perhaps the two of them getting caught in the act and making up a lame excuse for their actions.

3. It was too long and slow- The first half of the book was one of the most boring things I've read in a while. I was this (and I mean THIS) close to giving up on it, on more than one occasion. It didn't help that I read it in bits and pieces because that only made it stretch out more. Only the good reviews I had read made me want to continue, and the ending did get better, so I don't regret it.

I would have liked if the interesting parts of the story were introduced more in the beginning, to keeps the readers engaged. A lot of it felt repetitive, with Cath attending parties, and the Jabberwock interrupting every time something was about to happen.

4. The length didn't work out in its favour- Everything about Jest's past made the story really interesting. However, all that came after 200 or so pages, and by the time I got drawn into the plot, the book got over. We knew the ending of the story from reading the blurb, but reading about how it came to be was interesting. The climax was very dramatic, and I enjoyed reading it. But I cannot forget the slow beginning which had me in tears of boredom.

5. Hardly any palace backdrop- This might be my fault for assuming a story about the King of Hearts would involve more politics and royalty. It was filled with noble animals, sure, but barely any descriptions of wealth and luxury. The only place in Cath's house we were introduced to was her room, and that did not sound too grand.

I'm not sure how many of the things have been taken from Lewis Carroll's world, and how many have been made up by the author. Some of the animals and creatures were difficult to visualize, especially as someone who hasn't read Alice in Wonderland too much in depth. I couldn't understand how big the turtle was supposed to be, as sometimes he was said to be small, at other times not small enough to be carried. There was also a trumpetfish playing the flute and various insects smoking hookahs, whose random presence in the story was not required.

Also, some of the writing didn't make sense to me-

"His dimples stretched down either side of his face."

"But it's just... she's the jammiest bit of jam, isn't she? So very clever. And righteous. And so very, very..." He swooned. "Pink"

(and this is a pig talking about a girl, yeah)

Characters- This is one aspect I really liked about this book. The characters were well developed and their banter was fun to read. I enjoyed all the riddles and jokes as well. Cath had a constant personality throughout and towards the end, she started feeling more mature. I found her slightly rude and pretentious at the start, but all that began to feel like a part of her character arc. Jest was really funny, and I loved all his dialogues. Hatta was an enjoyable character to read about as well.

I apologise if this review didn't make much sense. I have decided to give this book 3 stars because of the slow beginning. I really loved the ending though, and am looking forward to reading more of the author's books.