This was one of the worst books I've ever read. The writing in it was terrible- it read more like an 8-year-old's first draft of a reluctant essay than a YA book. There was no flow to anything, and the characters kept showing up in random places. Half the time I had no idea what was going on- I kept reading hoping things would eventually make sense, but they never did. It was difficult to picture the scenes or the characters, and the author seemed determined to make us as confused as Zoya probably was. Most events like balls and competitions weren't adequately described and read like a fuzzy dream somebody was narrating a decade after having it. Even if the book had to be from the point of view of a stupid person, it could've benefitted from giving her at least a little capacity for observation.
Most of the things in their Dark Valley were hilarious. The fact that shadow "balls" and shadow humans "spawned" under buckets and clothes had me laughing from the first page itself. The entire thing was ridiculous and didn't feel thought out. Zumba tried to throw out some mentions about how their beds didn't have shadows under them and that nobody wore loose clothes, but none of it was very convincing. It doesn't seem possible to pack absolutely all objects so tightly that there isn't even a little dark space between them. True, Zara did say that carelessness led to shadow guys spawning (still hilarious) sometimes, but wouldn't any sort of construction naturally have dark places in it? I can think of cupboards, dustbins, ovens- even toilets?- as some places which you can't perpetually illuminate.
Besides Zebra's stupidity, she was also not great at, well, anything. She was pretending to be the "champion of the Dark Valley" or some other chosen one nonsense, but I don't see how anybody believed her. We were just expected to assume that all the guards were so scared and sleep-deprived and constipated that they didn't bother looking at her too closely. She also cried way too much, and I while have nothing against crying, she teared up every other page? She saw acrobats and started weeping? She also got offended by everyone and everything and I didn't have the patience to read about how she looked at the ground each time a man told her how incapable she was.
The world-building was also non-existent. A few places like Gravel and the Marshes were named, but we weren't really told anything about them. Every time the author tried to pretend that something was serious and important, she ended up ignoring that plot point halfway. Zoma had made a huge deal out of the Dark Valley people being somehow responsible for creating the shadow creatures, but we did not get any other mentions or explanations later. The same thing goes for the competition, in which the challenges were expected to be life-threatening and intense, but all they did was climb ladders and collect rocks.
Zeba was said to be extremely desirous of the Blood Cup, but nobody had any idea what it was, or how it was going to help. I did not feel very involved or interested in the story, for the simple reason that she herself didn't either. She casually narrated getting shot by arrows and kissing people and being cheated on and killing lions, and none of it felt realistic. Her life just was a random jumble of events, and she kept trying to convince us how harrowing and dramatic it was.
All the characters were idiots. They were also one-dimensional, by which I mostly mean that they had no personality other than being stupid. I don't understand how any of them helped to run a kingdom. Alegra was equally annoying, and not well-written. Everyone kept doing random things to attempt to create a story, but none of it came together. The competition for the Blood Cup had initially seemed interesting, but the writing made it fall through. I found I absolutely did not care about anything or anyone, and all the terribly written sentences got under my skin.
Zinta also kept randomly talking to herself, and it was very off-putting. Not only did she pay zero attention to her surroundings, but at times she seemed confused by the things she'd done herself.
"“Indeed.” She had a cup with red juice and lifted it. “Cheers.”"
I don't get how she just happens to "have" a cup with red juice in it. Wasn't she the one who'd picked it up after entering the party or whatever? Couldn't the author have deigned to flip back two pages and add a line specifying how she acquired it?
I was ready to give up after reading half the book, but I continued because it was short and I wanted to know every single bad thing about it to put in my rant. I have too many highlighted sentences to put in a single review but I'll include some to prove my points.
"Zora wondered if he was right in the head, but decided not to argue. She could hide her emotions, so she smiled."
Let's all applaud Zeta for being capable enough to hide her emotions.
"“What a lovely group of friends,” a female voice said. Zora turned. Alegra was there. Her dress was dark blue contrasting with that awesome red hair."
Something about the way the author writes just gets on my nerves.
"All she could do from now on was avoid the king, not that it would be hard, as it wasn’t as if they were buddies or anything."
"A very tall champion with short black hair approached her. “So you can slay lions?” That was the opposite of what she had said. “No.” “Oh, you said you could. I can be wild like a lion, too. Raw.” He moved his hand as if it was a claw. What a weirdo. “Excuse me.” Zora got up and walked away."
I cannot stand awfully constructed sentences in books.
"He actually looked beautiful lying down with his eyes closed. No, what nonsense. That was a creepy thought, Zora. She put her arm under his head."
How does any part of this match up with any of the other sentences?
"“Sorry, I gave you the wrong bottle, this one is the super amazing wine.”
She put the bottle with the precision potion on his hand. He drank it. And spat it.
“No, no,” Zora said. “Drink it.”
“Not wine.”
“Of course it’s wine. You must have lost your taste or something.”
What nonsense she was saying. Still, he drank it and grimaced. “Worst wine ever.”"
I realise I am putting in too many of these but I can't stop.
Also, a lot of sentences were just wrong?
"She gave her back to him and stopped as if looking at something over his drawer chest. She then turned."
"She wasn’t that strong in her arms."
"She could barely breathe, so afraid she was."
"“Your highness wanted to see me?” She said as she sat. Tum, tum, tum, her heart was so loud, she hoped he couldn’t hear it."
"All I know how to do are potions, and between the time they picked my horse and when I mounted it, there wouldn’t have been time to give it to it."
"Yay, how awesome it was to have someone telling her where and when she could go. What a situation."
"I didn’t face a freaking lion and got an arrow on my shoulder and cuts on my arms for you to waste your life."
"Any other person wouldn’t manage to still look good with such a bump."
I would love to make this book into a movie so that I could act out all the over-dramatic and senseless scenes.
"Zora just stared at him. “You’d better leave the cry-creation for me. Your stuff is dreadful.”
“It’s horrible. Do you think I like it?” He crossed his arms and yelled, “What’s wrong with you?”"
"She stood near him and ran her hand on his arm. “Well, I don’t want to antagonize you.”"
"Griffin took her hands in his and was tired of this game."
I will stop here and I am tired of this review.
In hindsight, I appear to have been very agitated when I wrote this, so I apologize for how passive-aggressive I sounded. But if you made it this far, you probably didn't mind.
