These reviews help me vent
My burning anger and hatred
And all that I resent
About these books I read
(For no particular reason
During the last summer season.)
Mare was a little red girl
Who was useless in every way
And when she saw her power unfurl
She but dreamed all-day
Of overthrowing villains mighty
With her little lightning powers
And her attitude feisty
Which annoyed me for hours.
She also had Cal the apprehend
Who stood by through cold and hot
He also served as her boyfriend
Oh wait, now he's not.
I think Mare had some brothers
Who were creepy and threw shade
I don't remember any others
Except Cameron treated like a maid.
Yes, and there was Iris
Whom I hated from the start.
I wish she'd gotten some virus
That would've stopped her heart.
And the superb Maven Calore!
Amazing warrior, a great man!
He also possessed wit galore!
And of Mare was a great fan!
(I hope you realise I didn't mean
Any of that praise obscene.)
There was the Mare and Cal
Who are now together again
Wait he just broke the heart of his gal
Their breakups drive me insane.
Be together or stay apart
It means not a thing to me
Just decide on one from the start
It's my one and only plea.
Sorry, no, I also have some more
Including jumping off a ridge
Because me you terribly bore-
I'll even take a jump from a bridge.
"Rise, red as the dawn"
You stupid "little lightning girl"
And listen to Maven egging you on
Saying 'Go on, give it a whirl!'
I hope you fall into all his traps
And something bad happens to you
I want to give you a thousand slaps
But who'll touch you? Eww!
Your name means Horse Cart
And you have no heart
You're not even a little smart
You were bound to fail from the start.
I hate you Mare Barrow
Through your heart, I'll put an arrow
Cause your mind is so narrow
And people call you Bone Marrow.
Oh and you, Cal Calore
You, I absolutely abhor
You're hated from shore to shore
Cause you're the biggest bore.
Red Queen, Red Queen
I hate Red Queen
Horse Queen, Horse Queen
She was never even a queen.
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